“I’m afraid.” she said.
“What are you afraid of?” I asked her gently.
“I’m afraid of dying this way.”
“What way?”
“I’m afraid of dying broken and alone…”
Facing Our Pain
We all have this place inside of us… This place where no amount of ‘love, and light’, positive thinking, and affirmations, and sage, or sacred sister circles, or self-help books, or crystal healings can reach. It’s that place where we burry the bones of dead dreams, broken relationships, unresolved childhood issues, unspoken traumas, and all the things we think but never dare say out loud. You know the place I’m talking about all too well. I know you do. Because in all of the many times that I have existed on this earth; and in all of the miles I’ve travelled in this body; and all of the people I’ve met, touched, made love to, spoken with, laughed with, cried with, birth new beginnings with and died with… I have yet to meet a being absent of an energy signature that doesn’t this include this place.
This place is:
- Tense
- Angry
- Lonely
- Painful
- Anxious
- Apathetic
- Overwhelming
- Seemingly insurmountable
- And unavoidable
I often think about this place. Now it’s well integrated, and I spend the majority of my days feeling vibrant, happy and alive… But I remember so clearly, what it was like to wake up every morning and feel the warmth of the sun on my cheek, hear children giggling excitedly on their way to school, and to smell the scent of fresh pine through the open windows, and feel absolutely nothing. No joy. No gratitude. No possibility… Nothing except the extremes of apathy and despair.
I remember what it was like to look around and feel as though everything and everyone else was moving forward except me. Those were some of my worst days.
“Failure….”
“Fucked up…”
“Fat…”
“What the fuck is wrong with me?”
“Why can’t I just get it together…”
Those were the days – when I felt like no matter how hard tried… No matter how much time I put in… No matter how badly I begged, and bargained, and wretched for the Universe to just come and have my back, it never did.
The Only Way Out Is Through
I didn’t know then, what I know now. I hadn’t done the self-love work. How could I? I didn’t even really understand what self-love was and why it was so important. I didn’t understand that without it, I would forever be stuck in this loop – this very intentional, purposeful, necessary and yet wildly traumatic vibrational holding pattern with only one way out.
The only way out is through.
I know we’ve all heard this before… But when it comes to processing all of the shadows wandering hidden beneath the floorboards of our deepest wounds… It is the ONLY WAY.
We cannot out run our shadows, and we cannot outrun ourselves.
And though I am here to guide you, I am not here to rescue you.
There is nothing that I can ‘give’ you that you don’t already have deep within you.
There is no magic, pill, self-help book, therapist, guru, diet, drug, crystal or program that will miraculously remove all of your subconscious programming and instantly transform you into the woman you always wished you could be. While it may be true that transformation can happen in an instant, it takes daily practice to sustain it.
So, I am here, to be your guide.
Because the journey that you are about to embark on is one of the most difficult you will ever make. I’m talking about the journey back to yourself. Your self-love journey.
Do You Remember…
It is time to REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE.
Do you remember?
Wait don’t answer yet.
Don’t rush this.
Take
a
moment
here to really just let the question settle into your aura.
Now connect to your higher Self, and in a low tone say to yourself, “Do you remember who you are?”
(pause here an take a deep breath in and out)
What did you feel? What did you hear your Self say? Make a note of the feelings and thoughts so you don’t forget. Even better, come over to my Instagram after you’ve finished reading this and share what you felt and heard. I’d love to know! And if you feel compelled, don’t stop there, keep sharing what you felt and heard with others in your life… This is the way out!
Embracing Our Humanity…
Earth is one of the most difficult dimensions to navigate. Human beings have complex bodies and complex brains, that generally overlook the ability to tune into other dimensions of reality and connect with anything that hasn’t been scientifically spoon fed to us. And all of this doesn’t make us smarter… It limits us. And so, though we are indeed infinite beings, while we exist here on earth, it is important that we never lose sight of the fact that all things on this physical plane (including our lives) are limited.
When I asked my client to tell me how she was feeling after we had completed a special self-love exercise I designed just for her given her unique situation, she told me that she was afraid. All this time she thought that she had already dealt with that ‘stuff’’. She thought that she had put it all behind her. But if there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s that we may be able to trick the mind, but the heart cannot be fooled, and ENERGY NEVER LIES.
We Are Warriors!
Now I know where I need to take her.
Now I know what I need to do, to help her get through this. This woman isn’t weak. She is power house that moves mountains for millions by day and reads bedtime stories to her children by night. She is a warrior and so are you.
So before I go, I want to ask you this:
What are you afraid of and how much longer can you stand to live this way?
If you need help don’t walk through this fire alone. Reach out to me. I will help you.
So it is written,
So let it be done.
Xo Renée
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