It may not happen often… But there will be times when you are sitting at home, withered, tattered and dried up in a ball... Silently… Secretly… Breathlessly… Praying for the universe to send you something or someone to fill the deep gash in the center of your soul…
When he spends the night and says, ‘I’ll call you later’, but he never calls you again… When they walk in the room and say, ‘I’m sorry but this pregnancy’ is no longer viable’… When he let’s go of your hand and says, ‘I love you, but I’ve met somebody else’… When they come to your door and they say, ‘I’m sorry, but she passed this morning’… When you look into his eyes, and you feel absolutely nothing… When you are surrounded by family and friends, but you’ve never felt more alone… Your heart bleeds.
Food, booze, drugs, prescription drugs, cigarettes, sex, high risk relationships, shopping, self-help binging,… You will do anything to suppress the pain… But have you noticed that no matter what you do it never seems to go away? Unlike many of the other emotions that we experience as human beings, loneliness is one of the few emotions that can’t not be ignored or avoided. It is impossible to escape, at best it can only be tamed for a short period of time. So why is this the case? And if it won’t go away on it’s own, what do you need to do to heal the wound?
First you must understand that loneliness is not a ‘negative ‘or ‘bad’ emotion. With that being said, when loneliness strikes, it can spiritually leave you feeling as if your chest was cracked and your heart was cut wide open without any anesthetic. What you need to know, is that the degree of pain you are experiencing in the moment is directly proportional to the degree of conscious attention, love and healing needed to purposefully and correctly heal the wound that is causing your pain.
Here are the three most common underlying emotional incidents that cause us to feel the deep cut of overall loneliness:
1. Feelings of abandonment.
2. Feelings of betrayal or deceit.
3. A loss/lack of faith in Self/Universe (God)
A Self-love Coach or Energy Healer can help you to work through these past incidents/emotional traumas if you feel you no longer want to do this by yourself and you are truly committed to accelerating your healing process.
I could very easily rattle off a list of over 100 things, that you could do right now, in the comfort of your own home to ‘get rid‘ of these feelings. But then ask yourself this, why would you even want me to do that? I’d just be giving you another list of ‘pills’ – more shit that keeps you from seeing the truth…
Be mindful my friend. Sometimes what appears as empowerment, is nothing more than another strategy for you to exit the truth of your very own experience/reality. Another way for you to temporarily escape. This is why so many of the strategies that we try don’t last… Because we never healed the root, all we did was just change the context… Nothing more than temporary fix… Nothing is healed… You just have another vice.
So there’s is no list today… That’s right, instead of a buffet, there is only one meal being served, only one way out… Why? Because I want you to go deeper… I don’t want you to do anything… Cus chances are you’re the kind of awesome human who already ‘does‘ so much… In fact maybe you even ‘over do it‘ or give way more of yourself than is healthy… God knows I still do sometimes.
So no more… It ends right here. Right now. No more running away from the truth… No more hiding… It’s time to face the truth of your reality head on. It’s time to face your fears… If you are truly committed to healing, here is what you need to do. It’s very simple and yet it is perhaps on of the hardest things to do. Are you ready?
When the loneliness hits, instead of reaching for the phone to call someone and invite them over; instead of grabbing that bag of Cheetos; instead of saying to yourself ‘I need something new’ and whipping out the credit card; instead of cracking open that bottle of wine and drunk texting your ex, your ex ex, and that asshole (okay so the spiritual side of you knows he’s not an asshole and it’s all perfect blah blah blah, but can we just be human for a second here? Okay good. Thank you.), who didn’t call you back last week … Do nothing. Seriously… I know it’s hard, but if you can do this it will change your life.
In fact, I recommend that the next time you feel that crazy tidal wave of loneliness start to cut open your chest that you grab some paper and a pen and ride that wave baby… You’ll be amazed at the insane, scary, yet wildly creative and awesome stuff that flows right out of your brain, into your hand and on to your paper.
I absolutely love this quote by Eckhart. Feel free to interpret this however you want to. In the meantime let me share with you what it means for me. For me, it reminds me that every experience is a lesson. In every waking moment my friend, it is entirely, 100%, up to you and only you, to see the lesson. And if you run, it will run after you for the rest of your life… Loneliness will keep finding you and cutting you open over and over again…
Now this is not to say that you will never experience loneliness ever again. Remember, loneliness is not a ‘bad’ emotion. Only, when you are fully, able to embrace the beauty of the darkness, will you be able to truly, bask in the beauty of the light…
So, you need to experience loneliness in order for you to heal and evolve as the spiritual being that you are, who is here having a human experience. What I can assure you however, is that if you practice ‘doing nothing’ you can expect the following life changing results:
- You will start shedding excess pounds and look more vibrant.
- You will have more money and spend less on useless shit.
- You will you up your standards and date/do business with high vibrational people.
- You will care way less what about what other people think and do what you want.
- You will’ X’ out the toxic people and develop a healthy intolerance for bullsh!t.
- You will have a boost in creativity and write kick ass blogs like this 😉
- You will fall more in love with yourself than you were before.
- You will see the world as a loving place vs. a scary place.
- You’ll speed up your body’s natural healing abilities.
- You will inspire others to share their stories, to be authentic and to love themselves no matter what.
Loneliness can feel extremely excruciating in the moment, however with great practice, you can learn how to bear down, write through it and as a result awaken a deep, highly motivated and creative side of you that you maybe always knew was in you somewhere, but never really new how to unleash.
And to think, this is just the tip of the ice berg in terms of what’s possible! Working with a Self-Love Coach and Energy Healer is one of the very best ways to untap your unlimited potential and properly dissolve any overwhelming /paralyzing feelings of loneliness that block you from time to time.
In the meantime, the next time loneliness cuts you deep, you don’t have to sedate yourself or bleed out… You know what to do now (or should I say what not do)… Ride that tidal wave all the way home baby.