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Modern Day Wise Woman

Renée Mullings-Lewis | Self-Love Coach & Intuitive Wise Woman

ultimatum relationships dependency modern day wise woman

04/12/2015 by Renee Mullings-Lewis Leave a Comment

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moderndaywisewoman

Giving can be dangerous for high eq people still i

Giving can be dangerous for high eq people still in the process of learning, how to set healthy boundaries and limits in their relationships, both at work and at home.

Being able to set healthy boundaries IS what helps us to navigate our relationship to ourselves and others optimally.

Feeling: 👇🏽

Used, taken for granted, taken advantage of, mistreated, overlooked, undervalued, under appreciated, resentful, “turned off”, overly critical, disrespected, stifled, suffocated, isolated, alone, trapped, burned out… These are feelings that you want to pay close attention to. For high IQ people, feelings, like these can indicate that there is a dangerous imbalance in the amounts that we are giving and receiving.

If you are here and reading this, it’s not an accident. I created this message specifically with the intention for it to reach bold, bad ass powerful people that are at place in their lives where they’re only interested in building relationships, communities, partnerships, lives and futures with people who know their worth.

I see you. And I am so with you.
X, Renée

Enough is enough. As high eq people… People high

Enough is enough. As high eq people… People high in empathy, we must understand that it is 100% our responsibility to ensure that our feelings do not override the warning signs our intuition, our nervous system and our logical minds are trying to communicate to us.

Even for the most knowledgeable, trained or practiced individuals it can be incredibly difficult to know when to act on feelings and when to act on logic. What we know is that having a healthy sense of self and healthy relationship to others, requires a balance of feeling and logic. You don’t want move through life like a Vulcan; but you also don’t want to move through life like an under developed Betazoid. A little Star Trek reference for my fellow Trekkies. 😉

What works to help us find our balance is having a deep understanding and relationship to RESPECT. That is:

Respect for your Self.
Respect for your body.
Respect for your time.
Respect for your energy.
Respect for your life.
Finally, respect for the divine order of things. This respect is universal and applies regardless of your religion, or spiritual beliefs or if you have no belief. It is simply about being aware that there is an order and connection between all living things and to respect that.

When you respect yourself and have respect in all of the above mentioned domains, you move differently, you act differently, you see everything differently. You become someone that is led by a force that will not lead you a stay. And you effortlessly repel anything and anyone that isn’t a match.

X,
Renée

Stop blaming yourself. As high eq people, we will

Stop blaming yourself. As high eq people, we will always make a concerted effort to consider our part in the erosion or unravelling of a relationship- whether it be a friendship, a romantic relationship, a marriage, a business partnership or otherwise.

Owning our personal power often involves being honest with ourselves about how we ended up in a position to either be mistreated, misunderstood, devalued, taken advantage of or taken for granted.

With all of this being said, there are times when upon doing deep reflection, we sometimes need to find acceptance that some people simply are not capable of loving us, or partnering with us, or collaborating with us because they’re not in a space, state, level of consciousness etc to be able to do so. These people for a myriad of reasons are unavailable - personally, professionally, mentally, emotionally, and psychologically, physically. Some people are just messed up… And there’s nothing else you could have done or said to change the outcome.

So this is a reminder to stop blaming yourself. It’s not however, a free pass to inflate your ego and act like a martyr or a saint. Having a high eq comes with a greater level of personal accountability and responsibility than most people are willing to take on.

It’s the reason that we are more successful at things we strive for and the reason we tend to be happier and more at peace….We do the work. And we do it not only for ourselves, but also because our relationship with others matters too.

This work isn’t for selfish people. It’s for people who stand for love and nothing less.

X,
Renée

As high eq people, we understand that there is a m

As high eq people, we understand that there is a marked difference between being assertive and being a$$hole.

We understand that it is entirely and easily possible to be direct, clear, hold boundaries, express our point of view and feelings without having blatant disregard for the human on the receiving end (especially when and if we care about the person(s) on the receiving end.

While it is true that it isn’t always possible to avoid upsetting someone, hurting someone’s feelings or offending others, we know from having good self-awareness when we’re operating/acting from a place of personal integrity vs. when we’re being insensitive and a complete jerk.

If you pride yourself on being a human being that treats yourself and others with respect and dignity you won’t fall into the trap of being an a$$hole and not even being aware of it. Because no one who loves and respects themselves would tolerate being around someone like that. Nor should they.

We’re all human, we all have bad moments or bad days… If you know you acted like an a$$hole, all you need to do is take responsibility… Go and “clean it up” with whomever it was you were a jerk to. There is never any shame in taking responsibility. It’s only a shame if you’re someone who refuses to.

X,
Renée

We are kicking November off with a brand new Self-

The power is in your hands. It always been and it

The power is in your hands. It always been and it always will be.

If you want a different out come make a different choice.

If you want better, make better choices.

If you want a good life, make choices that are in alignment with you living a good life.

This isn’t complicated. Nor is it hard.

Be mindful of those people in your life who mean well and empathize, and sympathize with you… But in doing so they enable, affirm and validate you being a victim of life or your circumstances.

Sometimes my friends, what we need is a kick in the a$$ and a reminder the life we’re living today is culmination of all the choices that were made for us as children and all of the choices that we ourselves have made as adults.

Different choices take us down different roads, pathways and on different trajectories. If you want something, or you want something more, or you want something else… Do something different.

This is an advanced lesson! If you got the message bravo. If it triggered you do the work with your coach or your therapist to look into why that is.

X,
Renée

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