<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss version="2.0" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/" xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/" xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/" > <channel> <title>Modern Day Wise Woman</title> <atom:link href="https://reneemullingslewis.com/tag/relationships/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" /> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com</link> <description>Renée Mullings-Lewis | Self-Love Coach & Intuitive Wise Woman </description> <lastBuildDate>Tue, 18 Feb 2020 23:07:48 +0000</lastBuildDate> <language>en-CA</language> <sy:updatePeriod> hourly </sy:updatePeriod> <sy:updateFrequency> 1 </sy:updateFrequency> <generator>https://wordpress.org/?v=6.7.2</generator> <item> <title>Finding Acceptance During Difficult Times</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Thu, 05 Oct 2017 22:15:17 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[chakra balancing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dare to be fearlessly you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[empaths]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fall in love with yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Law of Attraction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[light workers]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spiritual coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <category><![CDATA[wise woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women's coaching]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=12858</guid> <description><![CDATA[Sometimes it feels as if the ground is slipping beneath our feet like quicksand. One minute we feel as if we are safe and secure in our lives, and the next we find ourselves below ground, gasping for air and clinging to the edges for survival. When we find ourselves slipping, our instinct is to panic… […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/dealing-wth-change-renee-2/" rel="attachment wp-att-12861"><img fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12861 size-full" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/dealing-wth-change-renee-1-1.jpg" alt="" width="870" height="500" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/dealing-wth-change-renee-1-1.jpg 870w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/dealing-wth-change-renee-1-1-600x345.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/dealing-wth-change-renee-1-1-300x172.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/dealing-wth-change-renee-1-1-768x441.jpg 768w" sizes="(max-width: 870px) 100vw, 870px" /></a></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1"><strong>Sometimes it feels as if the ground is slipping beneath our feet like quicksand.</strong> One minute we feel as if we are safe and secure in our lives, and the next we find ourselves below ground, gasping for air and clinging to the edges for survival. </span><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">When we find ourselves slipping, our instinct is to panic… To try and hold on… <em><span style="color: #800080;">Our thinking becomes irrational</span></em>, our movements flustered, and it can feel as if our emotions are devouring us instead of helping us.<span class="m_5895456227628340746Apple-converted-space"> </span></span><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">The self-love lesson we are being called to reflect on during the peek of this full moon is one of <strong><span style="color: #800080;"><em>“non-attachment”</em></span></strong>… Specifically the reminder that <em><span style="color: #800080;"><strong>nothing in life is permanent</strong></span></em>.</span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Many <em>old souls</em> have been experiencing dramatic dips in their ability to manifest money, new opportunities, new friends, peace of mind, confidence and more, purely because we’ve been spending too much time digging through the past or <strong>clinging to deceased versions of ourselves</strong>. </span><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">We feel afraid to confront the <em>deeper issue</em> behind our need hang on so tightly. Which is, that it is not the Universe or the future that we feel unsure/unsettled about. <em><strong><span style="color: #800080;">It is our lack of faith in ourselves.</span></strong></em> Take a moment to just sit with this for a moment. Because this right here is huge. </span></p> <h2><strong><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/know-your-worthbig-2/"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-1434" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Know-Your-Worthbig-e1339553554452.jpg" alt="" width="870" height="653" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Know-Your-Worthbig-e1339553554452.jpg 640w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Know-Your-Worthbig-e1339553554452-600x450.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/Know-Your-Worthbig-e1339553554452-300x225.jpg 300w" sizes="(max-width: 870px) 100vw, 870px" /></a>The Deeper Self-Love Issue</strong></h2> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">We want to control all of these other things because we do not believe that we have the <em><span style="color: #800080;">power</span></em> to manifest whatever we want no matter how things shift and change. We also want control and certainty because somewhere deep down, we don’t believe that we can be happy without all of our ‘things’. </span><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1"><strong>True power exists when we know that we can rise above no matter how things shift or change in our lives</strong>. </p> <hr /> <p><em>True power exists when we know that we can rise above no matter how things shift or change in our lives.</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=True+power+exists+when+we+know+that+we+can+rise+above+no+matter+how+things+shift+or+change+in+our+lives.&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p> Naturally, this kind of power isn’t easy to harness; and even more so for human beings existing in marginalized bodies. <em><strong><span style="color: #800080;">For many of us, this lesson will be a lifelong practice.<span class="m_5895456227628340746Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></strong></em></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Let’s pause and just take a deep breath here… Because really and truly the beauty of doing this kind of self-love reflection is that it helps us to find our way out of the darkness. </p> <hr /> <p><em>Because really and truly the beauty of doing this kind of self-love reflection is that it helps us to find our way out of the darkness.</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=Because+really+and+truly+the+beauty+of+doing+this+kind+of+self-love+reflection+is+that+it+helps+us+to+find+our+way+out+of+the+darkness.&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Tonight is the night my friends to take your power back. To remember that true power lies within.</span></p> <h2><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/woman-crying/" rel="attachment wp-att-12887"><img decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12887 size-large" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-1024x682.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="682" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-1024x682.jpg 1024w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-768x511.jpg 768w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-1536x1023.jpg 1536w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-2048x1364.jpg 2048w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-900x600.jpg 900w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/Woman-crying-920x613.jpg 920w" sizes="(max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a><strong>So Let It Out</strong></h2> <p>Let out all of the pain.</p> <p>Let out all of the anger.</p> <p>Let the tears flow.</p> <p>Let the frustration rise from the soles of your feet and out the crown of your head.</p> <p>Yell if you must.</p> <p>Tilt your head back and close your eyes, if a moan escapes let it.</p> <p>Pur your hands on your solar plexus and give yourself some love.</p> <p><em><span style="color: #800080;">Do what you must, but let this attachment out of your mind, heart, spirit and body.</span></em></p> <p>Release it so you can move forward. You deserve to be free of this eternal anguish. Release it so you can take steps to work through it.</p> <p> </p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><strong><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow/"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-11614 size-large aligncenter" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow-1024x683.jpg" alt="" width="1024" height="683" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow.jpg 1024w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow-768x512.jpg 768w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow-900x600.jpg 900w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/women_in_baddha_konasana_bow-920x614.jpg 920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px" /></a></span></strong></p> <h2><strong> <span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">The Self-Love Practice</span></strong></h2> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Tonight is the night to accept everything- all changes that you have been resisting. Changes in your body. Changes in your friendships. Changes in your marriage. Changes at your work. Changes in your living situation. Changes in your stock investments. Changes in your income. Changes in your business. Changes in your health. Every change… <em><span style="color: #800080;"><strong>Accept it all.</strong></span></em><span class="m_5895456227628340746Apple-converted-space"> Acceptance doesn’t mean that you have to like it or even agree with what’s happening. Acceptance means that you are no longer going to hide, back down from, run away, or waste your precious energy resisting the current reality.</span></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"> <hr /> <p><em>Acceptance doesn’t mean that you have to like it or even agree with what’s happening. Acceptance means that you are no longer going to hide, back down from, run away, or waste your precious energy resisting the current reality.</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=Acceptance+doesn%27t+mean+that+you+have+to+like+it+or+even+agree+with+what%27s+happening.+Acceptance%26nbsp%3Bmeans+that+you+are+no+longer+going+to+hide%2C+back+down+from%2C+run+away%2C+or+waste+your+precious+energy+resisting+the+current+reality.&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Instead you will <em><strong><span style="color: #800080;">use your energy consciously</span></strong></em> to process your anger, constructively, speak your fears, release your shame, shed all guilt and blame, evolve your visions and get support where you need it.<span class="m_5895456227628340746Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Sometimes we just need a reminder of how incredibly amazing and powerful we are. </span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>This is your reminder my friend</strong></span>. May this new found layer of acceptance be the spark that’s sets the rest of your truest desires on fire.<span class="m_5895456227628340746Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><span class="m_5895456227628340746s1">Xo ?Renée<span class="m_5895456227628340746Apple-converted-space"> </span></span></p> <p class="m_5895456227628340746p1"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n/" rel="attachment wp-att-12881"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="alignleft wp-image-12881" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-150x150.jpg" alt="" width="250" height="250" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-150x150.jpg 150w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-450x450.jpg 450w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-180x180.jpg 180w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-920x920.jpg 920w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-300x300.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-768x768.jpg 768w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n-700x700.jpg 700w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/20638217_10155821286350827_5488648021588407416_n.jpg 960w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 250px) 100vw, 250px" /></a></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/finding-self-acceptance-during-times-of-major-change/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>Ultimatum Dependency? Stop Your Addiction to Giving Ultimatums</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 12 Apr 2015 22:45:30 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[soul]]></category> <category><![CDATA[break ups]]></category> <category><![CDATA[couples]]></category> <category><![CDATA[mind body soul]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[partnerships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki energy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relatioship coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[shadow work]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Spiritual Dating]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[ultimatum]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=12081</guid> <description><![CDATA[Sure, most of the time a cold hard ultimatum will get you what you want in the moment… But the downside is, you wind up knee deep in relationships that are ultimatum dependent. In other words the only time you can get people to do what you want is when you threaten them.     […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Sure, most of the time a cold hard ultimatum will get you what you want in the moment…</p> <p><em><span style="color: #993366;">But the downside is, you wind up knee deep in relationships that are ultimatum dependent. In other words the only time you can get people to do what you want is when you threaten them.</span></em></p> <p> </p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships/" rel="attachment wp-att-12100"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12100" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships.jpg" alt="ultimatum modern day wise woman relationships" width="645" height="403" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships.jpg 1280w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-920x575.jpg 920w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-300x188.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-1024x640.jpg 1024w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-800x500.jpg 800w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><strong>It’s Not Right Or Wrong To Use Ultimatums</strong></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">The intention of this article to shed some <em>light on</em> what may be causing you to need to use an ultimatum, so that you don’t feel like you <em>have</em> to use them anymore. <strong>Because let’s be honest</strong>, there’s nothing enjoyable about having to give someone an ultimatum, or all of the other junk that comes with it because you and your relationship are now ultimatum dependent.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><em><span style="color: #993366;">Now I know what you may be thinking. ‘Well how the heck am I supposed to get him to take me seriously?’ or ‘Well the only time she ever takes me seriously is when I’m ready to pack up my sh…and leave…What on earth do you propose I do then?!!</span></em></p> <p style="text-align: left;">First let me say this, these are perfectly <em>valid</em> questions. Questions that I will answer throughout the body of this article. Also, don’t think for a second that you’re alone. Because you’re not. Or think that I’ve never been where you are… <strong>Trust me</strong>, I have been. I want you know right off the bat, that I have zero interest in telling you what to do. Nor will I ever tell you what I think is best for you.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><strong>What I am going to do is tell you what has worked for me</strong> in the past and what is working really well for my clients. So in order to get full value from this article, my invitation to you is to read this with an open mind. Swish it round and see how it feels.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Then you can choose for yourself what to do with this information</span>. I mean seriously, if you’re reading this article, I already know that you’re smart -you don’t need anyone to tell you what to do. <em>Trust yourself.</em> And I will trust you to know what’s best for you. Cool? Okay good. Let’s keep moving along then shall we?</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/ultimatum-relationships-dependency-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-12084"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12084" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-relationships-dependency-modern-day-wise-woman-e1428879028442.jpg" alt="ultimatum relationships dependency modern day wise woman" width="600" height="400" /></a></p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>You’ve Got Bigger Issues</b></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">Now, others may think differently, but in my personal and professional opinion, ultimatums should only be used as a <em>last</em> resort. And even then, if you have to resort to using an ultimatum, chances are that you have way bigger problems and issues to deal with in your relationship(s) than you think.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">If you’re using ultimatums on the regular my friend, it can only mean one thing. <strong>You’re not getting what you want or need in your relationship(s)</strong>. Now, there can be oh so many reasons for this. From you <i>clearly</i> asking for what you want, to you being in a partnership with someone who’s is not a <em>vibrational</em> match for you, to you projecting your issues of low <em>self-worth</em> on to your partner, to you or your partner subconsciously <em>sabotaging</em> the relationships… As you can see, there are tons of reasons that may be driving you to ultimatum the people in your life to death.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">But at the end of the day the real issue is that you and this other person (Or people) are not in <em>sync</em>. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">You are not aligned</span>. If you keep using ultimatums to get what you want…</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><em><span style="color: #993366;">In other words if you use fear tactics to condition and force a particular response/reaction from your partner (and understand when I say partner you can insert, child, spouse, colleague, business partner or whomever), then you will forever need to use this tactic.</span></em></p> <p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Further more, because they only did what you wanted when they were scared, not because they authentically and organically wanted to, they will almost always <em>revert</em> back to their old ways (behaviours) until you ultimatum them again</strong>. When this pattern occurs <span style="text-decoration: underline;">ultimatum dependency</span> has now settled in. Can you see that you’ve got way bigger issues here?</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/love-yourself-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-12085"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12085" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/love-yourself-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg" alt="love yourself ultimatum modern day wise woman" width="645" height="431" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/love-yourself-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg 500w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/love-yourself-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Ultimatum Dependent Means… </b></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">Okay, so if you google ‘ultimatum dependent’, you’re not going to find anything anywhere about it. </p> <hr /> <p><em>Ultimatum dependent, is term I coined to describe partnerships where one or both partners are consistently motivated to behave in a relationally desired way in order to to avoid anticipated pain cued by the issuing of an ultimatum.</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=Ultimatum+dependent%2C+is+term+I+coined+to+describe+partnerships+where+one+or+both+partners+are+consistently+motivated+to+behave+in+a+relationally+desired+way+in+order+to+to+avoid+anticipated+pain+cued+by+the+issuing+of+an+ultimatum.&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="color: #000000;"><strong>Ultimatum dependent</strong>, is term I coined to describe partnerships where one or both partners are consistently motivated to behave in a relationally desired way in order to to avoid anticipated pain cued by the issuing of an ultimatum. <span style="color: #993366;">People can also have an ultimatum dependency</span>.</span> This is where a person consistently uses ultimatums as a strategy or tactic in in order to prematurely or falsely induce a desired outcome. <strong>In my experience consequences are useful, but ultimatums are not.</strong> And many people seem to be <em>confused</em> about the difference between the two.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Here is the definition of consequence:</span> a result or effect of an action or condition.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Here is the definition of ultimatum:</span> a final demand or statement of terms, the rejection of which will result in retaliation or a breakdown in relations.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><strong>What I am suggesting here is that more of us (and in this case if you are reading this, then I’m talking to you directly), address the bigger issue -loving ourselves.</strong> </p> <hr /> <p><em>When you love yourself you are clear about what you will and will not accept and you address boundary violations on your energy, your time, your physical space and any broken agreements immediately</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=When+you+love+yourself+you+are+clear+about+what+you+will+and+will+not+accept+and+you+address+boundary+violations+on+your+energy%2C+your+time%2C+your+physical+space+and+any+broken+agreements+immediately&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p>.</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><em><span style="color: #993366;">When you love yourself you are clear about what you will and will not accept and you address boundary violations on your energy, your time, your physical space and any broken agreements immediately. As such, consequences occur naturally as a result of you <span style="text-decoration: underline;">honouring yourself</span>; and the people around you who are a match will respond in a way that aligns with you</span>.</em></p> <p style="text-align: left;">If they do not, then you can either choose to do the work to get yourselves aligned, or that person will <em>naturally flow</em> out of your life. That’s all I’ll say about this for now. We will come back to this whole loving yourself approach.<strong> But before we do this, it’s important that you first identify if you are currently in an ultimatum dependent relationship</strong> or if you have an ultimatum decency.</p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"></h4> <p> </p> <p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-12086"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12086" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg" alt="couple ultimatum dependency boyfriend modern day wise woman" width="645" height="430" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg 2122w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-768x512.jpg 768w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-2048x1366.jpg 2048w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-900x600.jpg 900w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/couple-ultimatum-dependency-boyfriend-modern-day-wise-woman-920x613.jpg 920w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"></h4> <p><b>5 Key Signs of Ultimatum Dependency</b></p> <ul> <li>Though it’s tough for you to admit, you tend to <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">give way too much</span></strong> of yourself in your relationship with others. This often leaves you feeling angry and resentful or wanting to terminate these relationships.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>Despite your efforts to try to remain calm, <span style="color: #993366;"><em>you find yourself getting excessively angry</em> </span>when your partner/friend/business partner/employee doesn’t agree with you or respond to you in a manner that you feel is appropriate. You often feel like things aren’t resolved until they agree with your point of view.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>You’re a total <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">control freak</span></strong>… Um ya… And you know it! You’ll never admit to anyone else, but yes, you want people to do it your way… Because well you’re way is the better way damn it!! Okay just kidding… Or wait am I? Hmmm :-S Bottom line, you’ll do just about anything to get others to do things your way.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>You withdraw. <em><span style="color: #993366;">You often find yourself having the insatiable desire to just retract or weed wack people out of your life</span></em>. You <span style="text-decoration: underline;">distance yourself</span> from them without communicating, purposely cutting them out of your life like ninja in the night, without them even having any idea that it’s happening.</li> </ul> <ul> <li>You flat out, in their face, threaten to leave the job, cut funding, end the relationship, or walk away from the family if ‘so and so’ doesn’t _______. Oh but here is the important part, this isn’t the first or the second time you’ve behaved this way… <strong>You do this all the time.</strong> You play this same hand over and over and over again. This is you’re ace and you know it.</li> </ul> <h4></h4> <p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/break-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-12087"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12087" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/break-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman.png" alt="break ultimatum modern day wise woman" width="600" height="480" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/break-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman.png 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/break-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-300x240.png 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 600px) 100vw, 600px" /></a></p> <p style="text-align: left;">Okay take a nice deep breath here. If you went through the list and you think you have a dependency don’t sweat it. <strong>Don’t make yourself wrong or think that other people are better than you or more evolved…</strong> They aren’t. There stuff is just different. Remember that this article is being written by me <span style="text-decoration: underline;">purely from a place of love</span> so that it can hep you to love yourself more. Mmmmm yes. I’m here to help you or your friend (whoever you’re planning on sharing this with) . So don’t panic!</p> <h1 style="text-align: left;"></h1> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><b><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/ultimatum-dependency-love-yourself-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-12088"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12088" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-dependency-love-yourself-modern-day-wise-woman.png" alt="ultimatum dependency love yourself modern day wise woman" width="645" height="363" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-dependency-love-yourself-modern-day-wise-woman.png 1200w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-dependency-love-yourself-modern-day-wise-woman-920x518.png 920w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-dependency-love-yourself-modern-day-wise-woman-300x169.png 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-dependency-love-yourself-modern-day-wise-woman-1024x576.png 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></b></h4> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>How To Cure Yourself of Ultimatum Dependency</b></h4> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>You have to focus on yourself.</strong> From now on commit to never ever again trying to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">make</span> anyone do <span style="text-decoration: underline;">anything. </span>You want the people in your life to always be acting from a place of free will period. <strong>As a whole human being in a relationship with another whole human being, you are <em>responsible</em> for loving <i>yourself</i> to the highest degree.</strong></li> </ul> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>They are not responsible for giving you anything</strong>. If you follow this practice people will move in and out of your life naturally. This doesn’t mean that you won’t argue and fight. Cus honey, oh yes you will! Especially if you are in a spiritual partnership, where it’s all about you helping each other to grow. But the ultimatum thing won’t be default tactic. And you’ll no longer be in partnership that feels like trying to roll water uphill.</li> </ul> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>You have to ask for what you want every time.</strong> No more relying on expectations. Make specific requests. Keep them short and clear. And if the person doesn’t follow through address it.<br /> <hr /> <p><em>Unaddressed problems are buried bones in the backyard of your relationship</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=Unaddressed+problems+are+buried+bones+in+the+backyard+of+your+relationship&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p>. Unaddressed problems are buried bones in the backyard of your relationship. Actually no, they’re worse. So train yourself to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">speak up</span> and to be heard. Train your partner to take you seriously from the get go so you don’t have to rely on fear tactics later.</li> </ul> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-3/" rel="attachment wp-att-12123"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-12123" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-3.jpg" alt="ultimatum modern day wise woman relationships 3" width="645" height="363" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-3.jpg 1920w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-3-920x518.jpg 920w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-3-300x169.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-3-1024x576.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Prepare your loved ones for the new you.</strong> This step is specifically for older relationships. If up until now in your partnership with your friend, partner, employee etc. you’ve been using threats to control your partner (even if just a little), you will need to lovingly inform this person that you are doing some personal work around self-love and self-care and that part of what they may experience is a noticeable change in the way you handle conflict or make requests. <span style="color: #993366;">Let them know that you recognize that you’ve been being ‘attached’ or ‘controlling’ and that where it’s been coming from is your own issues of self-love, self-respect, self-worth etc.</span> You’ll need to inform them that you’re no longer going to try to use power or force to get a desired outcome and that you trust that if you’re just being yourself that none of that will be necessary.</li> </ul> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>You will either align or you will not.</strong> And you’ll need to let your partner know that you will being more vocal about certain things not to hurt them, but to love yourself more so that you can give the relationship a fair and true chance. This will allow them to understand and prepare to be in a relationship with the upgraded version of you.</li> </ul> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Remember that consequences are natural.</strong> For example if every time someone says that they will pay you on a certain date and they never ever do. Then stop lending them the money. <span style="color: #993366;"><em>You will need to deal with your own guilt or fear about what will happen to them. But remember that is your own self-love and self-worth issue</em></span>. So if you continue to lend that person money, and you suddenly get mad and give them an ultimatum, you cannot deny that you would not have been in that position had you honoured yourself and your intuition, and simply stopped allowing someone to take your money and not pay you back. Any anger directed towards that person is a distraction. <strong>In this new self-love model you know that the person you need to deal with is you</strong>. An ultimatum might get them to do what you want the next time, but I can guarantee they will dishonour you again in other ways. Why? Because you allow them to. And in not honouring yourself you are a vibrational match for more people to also do to you what you are doing to yourself.</li> </ul> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"><strong>Without compassion nothing works.</strong> <br /> <hr /> <p><em>When we do not have compassion for ourselves, we don’t have any for others</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=When+we+do+not+have+compassion+for+ourselves%2C+we+don%E2%80%99t+have+any+for+others&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p>. When we do not have compassion for ourselves, we don’t have any for others. It is important to keep in mind that when you are training someone how to treat you, they may make mistakes, mess up or completely miss the mark. Also if they are struggling with their own issues of self-love and self-worth they may not be able to express this struggle or offer you what you need. So be gentle with each other’s hearts. Pushing won’t resolve anything. It will only create a problem later on.</li> </ul> <ul> <li style="text-align: left;"> <strong>Don’t suppress your anger.</strong> Use your anger in healthy ways – but it’s important to not use it as a weapon. <em><span style="color: #993366;">Additionally, sometimes being loving means, allowing yourself to be angry at that person without feeling guilty or obligated to nurse them back to feeling better</span>.</em> As long as you are coming from a place of love and compassion you will do what’s best for the good of you both. No ultimatums needed.</li> </ul> <p> </p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/true-love-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-true-love/" rel="attachment wp-att-12089"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12089" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/true-love-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-true-love.jpg" alt="true love ultimatum modern day wise woman relationships true love" width="620" height="300" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/true-love-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-true-love.jpg 620w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/true-love-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-true-love-600x290.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/true-love-ultimatum-modern-day-wise-woman-relationships-true-love-300x145.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 620px) 100vw, 620px" /></a></h4> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><b>Final Thoughts</b></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">Relationships are necessary for personal and spiritual development. Some relationships are easy and just flow naturally, while others… Well to say that they test us daily would be huge understatement <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f642.png" alt="🙂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> <strong>All relationships are mirrors.</strong> They are designed to teach us how to love ourselves, live fully and connect. In rare instances, ultimatums can be loving when used correctly. But I say, why do we have to let it come to that. <span style="color: #993366;"><em>What would be possible if we just loved ourselves and each other unapologetically in our relationships from day one? Or starting right now?</em></span> Well now that you’ve read this article, you have the power to answer this question for yourself. <strong>Go in love.</strong></p> <p style="text-align: left;">Until we meet again be well and stay wise.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">xo Renee <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f642.png" alt="🙂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p> <p style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/renee-mullings-lewis-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-12120"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-12120 alignleft" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/renee-mullings-lewis-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg" alt="renee mullings lewis modern day wise woman" width="272" height="362" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/renee-mullings-lewis-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg 720w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/renee-mullings-lewis-modern-day-wise-woman-600x800.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/renee-mullings-lewis-modern-day-wise-woman-225x300.jpg 225w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 272px) 100vw, 272px" /></a></p> <p style="text-align: left;"> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/ultimatum-dependency-rid-yourself-of-it-now/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>WHEN THE LONELINESS HURTS TOO MUCH</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 13 Jul 2014 14:49:11 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[chakra balancing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[chakras]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dare to be fearlessly you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[depression]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[face your fears]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fall in love with yourself]]></category> <category><![CDATA[loneliness]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[negative emotions]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love coach toronto]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[suppress pain]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Toronto]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5696</guid> <description><![CDATA[It may not happen often… But there will be times when you are sitting at home, withered, tattered and dried up in a ball... Silently… Secretly… Breathlessly… Praying for the universe to send you something or someone to fill the deep gash in the center of your soul… When he spends the night and says, […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It may not happen often… But there will be times when you are sitting at home, <em>withered, tattered and dried up in a ball.</em>.. <strong>Silently</strong>… <em>Secretly</em>… <strong>Breathlessly</strong>… <em>Praying</em> for the universe to send you something or someone to fill the deep gash in the <strong>center of your soul</strong>…</p> <p><em><span style="color: #993366;">When he spends the night and says, ‘I’ll call you later’, but he never calls you again… When they walk in the room and say, ‘I’m sorry but this pregnancy’ is no longer viable’… When he let’s go of your hand and says, ‘I love you, but I’ve met somebody else’… When they come to your door and they say, ‘I’m sorry, but she passed this morning’… When you look into his eyes, and you feel absolutely nothing… When you are surrounded by family and friends, but you’ve never felt more alone… Your heart bleeds.</span></em></p> <h4></h4> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/young-beautiful-woman-in-depression-drinking-alcohol-shutterstock/" rel="attachment wp-att-5701"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5701" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Young-beautiful-woman-in-depression-drinking-alcohol-Shutterstock.jpg" alt="When Loneliness Cuts You Deep www.reneemullingslewis.com" width="645" height="360" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Young-beautiful-woman-in-depression-drinking-alcohol-Shutterstock.jpg 500w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Young-beautiful-woman-in-depression-drinking-alcohol-Shutterstock-300x167.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Food, booze, drugs, prescription drugs, cigarettes, sex, high risk relationships, shopping, self-help binging,…</strong> You will do anything to <em>suppress</em> the pain… But have you noticed that no matter what you <em>do</em> it never seems to go away? Unlike many of the other emotions that we experience as human beings, loneliness is one of the few emotions that can’t not be ignored or avoided. <strong>It is impossible to escape</strong>, at best it can only be tamed for a short period of time. So why is this the case? And if it won’t go away on it’s own, what do you need to do to heal the wound?</p> <h4></h4> <p>First you must understand that <strong>loneliness is not a ‘negative ‘or ‘bad’ emotion.</strong> With that being said, when loneliness strikes, it can spiritually leave you feeling as if your chest was cracked and your heart was cut wide open without any anesthetic. What you need to know, is that the degree of pain you are experiencing in the moment is directly proportional to the <strong>degree of conscious attention</strong>, <em>love</em> and <a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/energy-healing/"><em>healing</em></a> needed to purposefully and correctly heal the wound that is causing your pain.</p> <hr /> <p><em>What you need to know, is that the degree of pain you are experiencing in the moment is directly proportional to the degree of conscious attention, love and healing needed to purposefully and correctly heal the wound that is causing…</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=What+you+need+to+know%2C+is+that+the+degree+of+pain+you+are+experiencing+in+the+moment+is+directly+proportional+to+the+degree+of+conscious+attention%2C+love+and+healing+needed+to+purposefully+and+correctly+heal+the+wound+that+is+causing...&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/couple-unhappy-black/" rel="attachment wp-att-5702"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5702" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/couple-unhappy-black.jpg" alt="When Loneliness Cuts Deep www.moderndaywisewoman.com" width="645" height="430" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/couple-unhappy-black.jpg 1698w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/couple-unhappy-black-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/couple-unhappy-black-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/couple-unhappy-black-1024x682.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <p><strong>Here are the three most common underlying emotional incidents that cause us to feel the deep cut of overall loneliness:</strong></p> <p>1. Feelings of abandonment.</p> <p>2. Feelings of betrayal or deceit.</p> <p>3. A loss/lack of faith in Self/Universe (God)</p> <p>A <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/coaching/">Self-love Coach </a></span>or <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/energy-healing/">Energy Healer </a></span>can help you to work through these past incidents/emotional traumas if you feel you no longer want to do this by yourself and you are truly committed to accelerating your healing process.</p> <h4></h4> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/fearswide-620x349/" rel="attachment wp-att-5704"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5704" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/fearswide-620x349.jpg" alt="face your fears www.moderndaywisewoman.com" width="645" height="363" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/fearswide-620x349.jpg 620w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/fearswide-620x349-600x338.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/fearswide-620x349-300x169.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <p> </p> <p>I could very easily rattle off a list of over 100 things, that you could do right now, in the comfort of your own home to <em>‘get rid</em>‘ of these feelings. But then ask yourself this, <strong>why</strong> would you even want me to do that? I’d just be giving you another list of ‘pills’ – <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>more shit that keeps you from seeing the truth</strong></span>…</p> <p>Be mindful my friend. <em><strong>Sometimes what appears as empowerment, is nothing more than another strategy</strong> <strong>for you to exit the truth of your very own experience/reality</strong></em>. Another way for you to temporarily escape. This is why so many of the strategies that we try don’t last… Because we never healed the root, all we did was just change the context… Nothing more than temporary fix… Nothing is healed… You just have another vice.</p> <hr /> <p><em>Sometimes what appears as empowerment, is nothing more than another strategy for you to exit…</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=Sometimes+what+appears+as+empowerment%2C+is+nothing+more+than+another+strategy+for+you+to+exit...&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p>So there’s is no list today… That’s right, instead of a buffet, there is only one meal being served, only one way out… Why? <strong>Because I want you to go deeper…</strong> I don’t want you to do anything… Cus chances are you’re the kind of awesome human who already ‘<em>does</em>‘ so much… In fact maybe you even <strong><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">‘over do it</span>‘</a></strong> or give way more of yourself than is <em>healthy</em>… God knows I still do sometimes.</p> <p>So no more… It ends right here. Right now. <strong>No more running away from the truth…</strong> No more hiding… It’s time to face the truth of your reality head on. It’s time to <em><span style="color: #800080;">face your fears</span></em>… If you are truly committed to healing, here is what you need to do. It’s very simple and yet it is perhaps on of the hardest things to do. Are you ready?</p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/meditation-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-5703"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5703" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/meditation-wise-woman.jpg" alt="Face your fear www.moderndaywisewoman.com" width="645" height="430" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/meditation-wise-woman.jpg 900w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/meditation-wise-woman-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/meditation-wise-woman-300x200.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <h4><strong>DO NOTHING</strong>.</h4> <p>When the loneliness hits, instead of reaching for the phone to call someone and invite them over; instead of grabbing that bag of <strong>Cheetos</strong>; instead of saying to yourself ‘I need something new’ and whipping out the <strong>credit card</strong>; instead of cracking open that bottle of <b>wine</b> and <strong>drunk texting your ex,</strong> your ex ex, and that <span style="color: #993366;">asshole</span><span style="color: #800080;"> (</span><em><span style="color: #993366;">okay so the spiritual side of you knows he’s not an asshole and it’s all perfect blah blah blah, but can we just be human for a second here? Okay good. Thank you.)</span></em>, who didn’t call you back last week … <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Do nothing.</strong></span> Seriously…<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong> I know it’s hard, but if you can do this it will change your life.</strong></span></p> <p>In fact, I recommend that the next time you feel that crazy <em><span style="color: #993366;">tidal wave of loneliness</span></em> start to cut open your chest that you <strong>grab some paper and a pen</strong> and ride that wave baby… You’ll be amazed at the insane, scary, yet wildly creative and awesome stuff that f<em>lows</em> right out of your brain, into your hand and on to your paper.</p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/girl-and-holding-hand-x-sunset-lips-sun-48756/" rel="attachment wp-att-5705"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5705" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/girl-and-holding-hand-x-sunset-lips-sun-48756.jpg" alt="life will give you what ever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness www.moderndaywisewoman.com" width="645" height="363" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/girl-and-holding-hand-x-sunset-lips-sun-48756.jpg 1366w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/girl-and-holding-hand-x-sunset-lips-sun-48756-600x337.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/girl-and-holding-hand-x-sunset-lips-sun-48756-300x169.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/girl-and-holding-hand-x-sunset-lips-sun-48756-1024x576.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <blockquote> <hr /> <p><em>“Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.” Eckhart Tolle</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=%22Life+will+give+you+whatever+experience+is+most+helpful+for+the+evolution+of+your+consciousness.+How+do+you+know+this+is+the+experience+you+need%3F+Because+this+is+the+experience+you+are+having+at+the+moment.%22+Eckhart+Tolle&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> </blockquote> <p>I absolutely love this quote by Eckhart. Feel free to <em>interpret</em> this however you want to. In the meantime let me share with you what it means for me. For me, it reminds me that every experience is a lesson.<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong> In every waking moment my friend, it is entirely, 100%, up to you and only you, to see the lesson.</strong></span> And if you run, it will run after you for the rest of your life… Loneliness will keep finding you and cutting you open over and over again…</p> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/download9/" rel="attachment wp-att-5706"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5706" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/download9.jpg" alt="when loneliness cuts deep www.moderndaywisewoma.com" width="645" height="323" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/download9.jpg 700w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/download9-600x301.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/download9-300x150.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <p>Now this is not to say that you will never experience loneliness ever again. Remember, loneliness is not a ‘bad’ emotion. <strong>Only, when you are fully, able to embrace the beauty of the darkness, will you be able to truly, bask in the beauty of the light…</strong></p> <hr /> <p><em>Only, when you are fully, able to embrace the beauty of the darkness, will you be able to truly, bask in the beauty of the light…</em><br /><a href='https://twitter.com/share?text=Only%2C+when+you+are+fully%2C+able+to+embrace+the+beauty+of+the+darkness%2C+will+you+be+able+to+truly%2C+bask+in+the+beauty+of+the+light...&via=RMLLoveCoach&related=RMLLoveCoach&url=https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/' target='_blank'>Click To Tweet</a></p> <hr /> <p>So, you need to experience loneliness in order for you to <em><span style="color: #993366;">heal and</span></em> <span style="color: #993366;"><em>evolve</em> as the<em> spiritual being</em> that you are, who is here having a <em>human experience</em></span>. What I can assure you however, is that <strong>if you practice ‘doing nothing’ you can expect the following life changing result</strong>s:</p> <ol> <li>You will start shedding excess pounds and look more vibrant.</li> <li>You will have more money and spend less on useless shit.</li> <li>You will you up your standards and date/do business with high vibrational people.</li> <li>You will care way less what about what other people think and do what you want.</li> <li>You will’ X’ out the toxic people and develop a healthy intolerance for bullsh!t.</li> <li>You will have a boost in creativity and write kick ass blogs like this <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f609.png" alt="😉" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></li> <li>You will fall more in love with yourself than you were before.</li> <li>You will see the world as a loving place vs. a scary place.</li> <li>You’ll speed up your body’s natural healing abilities.</li> <li>You will inspire others to share their stories, to be authentic and to love themselves no matter what.</li> </ol> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/woman-meditating-via-meditationindarlington_org_/" rel="attachment wp-att-5744"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5744" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/woman-meditating-via-meditationindarlington_org_.jpg" alt="when loneliness cuts deep www.moderndaywisewoman.com" width="645" height="314" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/woman-meditating-via-meditationindarlington_org_.jpg 2551w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/woman-meditating-via-meditationindarlington_org_-600x292.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/woman-meditating-via-meditationindarlington_org_-300x146.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/woman-meditating-via-meditationindarlington_org_-1024x498.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <p>Loneliness can feel extremely <em>excruciating</em> in the moment, however with great <em>practice</em>, you can learn how to bear down, write through it and as a result <strong>awaken a deep, highly motivated and creative side of you</strong> that you maybe always knew was in you somewhere, but never really new how to unleash.</p> <p>And to think, this is just the tip of the ice berg in terms of what’s possible! Working with a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/coaching/">Self-Love Coach</a></strong></span> and <strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/energy-healing/">Energy Healer</a></span></strong> is one of the very best ways to untap your unlimited potential and properly dissolve any <strong>overwhelming /paralyzing feelings of loneliness</strong> that block you from time to time.</p> <p>In the meantime, the next time loneliness cuts you deep, you don’t have to sedate yourself or bleed out…<strong> You know what to do now</strong> (or should I say what not do)… Ride that tidal wave all the way home baby.</p> <p><strong>xoxo Renee</strong></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/when-loneliness-cuts-you-deep/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>5 GREAT REASONS WHY YOU DESERVE MORE ME TIME</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/5-great-reasons-why-you-deserve-more-me-time/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/5-great-reasons-why-you-deserve-more-me-time/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sat, 31 May 2014 13:32:56 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dare to be fearlessly you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[divine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[friends]]></category> <category><![CDATA[me-time]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Toronto]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5526</guid> <description><![CDATA[It’s not always easy finding time for yourself. Instead we must make a conscious effort to ‘make me time’. Said in other words we must make self-love practice a priority in our lives Here’s why. 1. You’ll Be Healthier: People who make time for self-love are physically and emotionally healthier than those who do […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/5-great-reasons-why-you-deserve-more-me-time/spa-relaxing/" rel="attachment wp-att-5535"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5535" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/woman-me-time-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg" alt="me time - modern day wise woman" width="645" height="430" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/woman-me-time-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg 4992w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/woman-me-time-modern-day-wise-woman-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/woman-me-time-modern-day-wise-woman-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/woman-me-time-modern-day-wise-woman-1024x683.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></h1> <div class="gmail_default"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">It’s not always easy finding time for yourself. Instead we must make a conscious effort to<em><strong> ‘make me time’.</strong></em> Said in other words we must make self-love practice a priority in our lives Here’s why.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>1. You’ll Be Healthier:</strong> People who make time for self-love are physically and emotionally healthier than those who do not – They are able to handle life’s up and overall live longer, healthier lives.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>2. You’ll Be More Compassionate:</strong> Those who make time for self-love are more compassionate towards themselves – They find it easier to let go of the past and move on to live happier lives.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>3. You’ll Be More Resilient:</strong> Those who make time for self-love are more resilient than those who do not – They more frequently see failures as an opportunity for growth and move into action quickly, rather than seeing failure as a character flaw or barrier.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>4. You’ll Feel More Fulfilled:</strong> Those who make time for self-love feel better about themselves and their lives than who do not. They spend less time ‘struggling’, suffering and seeking. – They no longer chase fulfillment in the arms of others, in the latest trends, caught up in the game of materialism; and instead find joy from within and naturally attract what they want to them.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>5. You’ll Live With Fewer Regrets:</strong> Those who make time for self-love die with fewer regrets than those who do not. They are more adept at being in the present moment, following their hearts, taking risks and doing what please them. They are not waiting to live, the are alive and living NOW.</span></div> <p> </p> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/5-great-reasons-why-you-deserve-more-me-time/self-love-coach-energy-healer-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-5528"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5528" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/self-love-coach-energy-healer-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg" alt="self-love coach energy healer modern day wise woman" width="645" height="429" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/self-love-coach-energy-healer-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg 1539w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/self-love-coach-energy-healer-modern-day-wise-woman-600x399.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/self-love-coach-energy-healer-modern-day-wise-woman-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/self-love-coach-energy-healer-modern-day-wise-woman-1024x681.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <div class="gmail_default"> <p><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Working with a <a style="color: #1155cc;" href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/about-me/"><strong>self-love coach</strong></a> and <a style="color: #1155cc;" href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/energy-healing/"><strong>energy healer</strong></a> is one of the very best ways to get clear about what your emotional needs are and determine which self-love strategies will work best for you. For example sometime it may best for you to do group work; or it may be best for you to do intense one on coaching; or it may be best to start with energy healing.</span></p> <p><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><em><strong>Remember ‘me time’ or making time for self-love isn’t selfish, it essential for for wellness and growth.</strong></em> So open up your calendar today and start scheduling in that self-love time. Don’t delay. You have 5 great reasons why you ought to start today.</span></p> </div> <div> <h4 class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">xoxo Renee</span></h4> </div> </div> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/5-great-reasons-why-you-deserve-more-me-time/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>HOW TO STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 25 May 2014 19:16:55 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[divine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[people pleasing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[solar plexus chakra]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[wise woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5500</guid> <description><![CDATA[HOW TO STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER We’re all guilty of doing this from time to time… What am I talking about? PEOPLE PLEASING. Have you ever noticed just how guilty or bad you feel when you have to say ‘no’ to someone? Or how you will bend, twist yourself into a human pretzel, climb Everest, do […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="text-align: center;"><strong><span style="color: #fb00b0;">HOW TO STOP BEING A PEOPLE PLEASER</span></strong></h1> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">We’re all guilty of doing this from time to time… What am I talking about? <strong>PEOPLE PLEASING.</strong> Have you ever noticed just how guilty or bad you feel when you have to say ‘no’ to someone? Or how you will bend, twist yourself into a human pretzel, climb Everest, do back flips, slave, wring your spirit completely dry and use every last ounce of your energy just so you can say ‘yes’ to someone’s request? Insane right? And yet so many of us can’t see him to stop saying ‘yes’ when we really ought to say ‘no’.</span></div> <h1 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></h1> <p class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">When we lack the will power to say ‘no’, we run the risk of winding up physically, emotionally and spiritually ship wrecked. <strong>More specifically, the energy center known as the ‘solar plexus’ goes completely out of balance; and, when that happens all kinds of things in our bodies, our relationships and our lives get messed up</strong>. So in today’s article I’m going to make sure you leave knowing the <em>warning signs of dangerous people pleasing</em> and<em> a 3 step question </em>to help you kill your off your disease to please.</span></p> </div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, clean, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #333333;"> </span></span></div> <h4 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222; text-align: center;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/stomach-pains-after-eating/" rel="attachment wp-att-5503"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5503" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Stomach-Pains-After-Eating.jpg" alt="stomach pains modern day wise woman" width="645" height="430" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Stomach-Pains-After-Eating.jpg 2122w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Stomach-Pains-After-Eating-600x400.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Stomach-Pains-After-Eating-300x200.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Stomach-Pains-After-Eating-1024x683.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></h4> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></div> <h1 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h1> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Physical Dysfunctions:</strong> Did you know that people pleasing is one of the leading causes of spiritual dysfunction and unexplained illness in the body? Symptoms of people pleasing include: exhaustion, unmanageable irritability, rapid weight gain, IBS, upset stomach upset or stomach viruses (including the stomach flu), unexplained abdominal pain, ulcers, nausea, gallstones, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, constant feelings of wanting to be alone/escape or run away, anxiety and more.</span></div> <h4 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h4> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Main Issues: </strong>Developing personal power, self-will, self-confidence and courage/moving through fear.</span></div> <h4 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h4> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"><strong>Crystals:</strong> Yellow citrine, topaz, aventurine and sunstone.</span></div> </div> <h1 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h1> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222; text-align: center;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/coaching/cosmic-fire-program/" rel="attachment wp-att-5504"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5504" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/SAY-NO-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman.jpg" alt="SAY NO Modern Day Wise Woman" width="645" height="484" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/SAY-NO-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman.jpg 2560w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/SAY-NO-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-600x450.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/SAY-NO-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-300x225.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/SAY-NO-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-1024x768.jpg 1024w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></div> <h1 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h1> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="color: #800080;"><strong><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">People pleasing or (not being able to say ‘NO’ happens when we stop caring for these 3 things:</span></strong></span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">1. Our healthy personal boundaries.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">2. Our standards/how we want to be treated or feel.</span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">3. Our connection to our instincts/intuition.</span></div> </div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></div> <h1 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h1> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="color: #800080;"><strong><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">So the three questions you need ask yourself before saying ‘yes’ to anything else are:</span></strong></span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">1. Am I respecting myself and my personal boundaries right now if I say yes?</span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">2. Am I honouring myself and my standards if I say yes?</span></div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">3. Is this something that feels right and I am at peace with saying yes?</span></div> </div> <div class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></div> <h1 class="gmail_default" style="color: #222222;"></h1> <div class="gmail_default"> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes saying <span style="color: #ff0000;"><strong>‘NO’</strong></span> is the most kind, caring, thoughtful, honest and compassionate thing you can do for yourself and another.<strong> </strong> <em><strong>If saying ‘yes’ to someone is going to ravage or destroy your healthy personal boundaries, your standards or your connection to your instincts or intuition say ‘no’</strong></em>. </span></div> <h1 class="gmail_default"></h1> <div class="gmail_default"></div> <div class="gmail_default"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/coaching/basic-coaching/" rel="attachment wp-att-5502"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5502" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/solar-plexus-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg" alt="solar plexus modern day wise woman" width="645" height="505" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/solar-plexus-modern-day-wise-woman.jpg 1024w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/solar-plexus-modern-day-wise-woman-600x469.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/solar-plexus-modern-day-wise-woman-300x235.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></div> <p class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span>Working with a <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #1155cc;" href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/about-me/"><strong>self-love coach</strong></a></span> and <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a style="color: #1155cc;" href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/energy-healing/"><strong>energy healer</strong></a></span> is one of the very best ways to work through unresolved emotional issues (likely developed in your teen years) to rid yourself of blocked energy or the disease to please for good.</p> <h4 class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></h4> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Remember people can only treat you as well as you treat yourself. So treat yourself with the utmost love and respect. <strong>You deserve the very best!</strong></span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;"> </span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Thanks for reading!</span></div> <div class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">Be Well.</span></div> <h4 class="gmail_default"><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">xoxo Renee</span></h4> </div> <div class="gmail_default"></div> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-stop-being-a-people-pleaser/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>HOW TO ATTRACT POSITIVE PEOPLE</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-reliably-attract-positive-people/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-reliably-attract-positive-people/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Wed, 30 Apr 2014 00:52:00 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attraction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[dare to be fearlessly you]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <category><![CDATA[wise woman]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5357</guid> <description><![CDATA[Whether you’re looking for an awesome tour guide, a new bosom buddy, the ultimate tenant, a chill taxi driver or the ‘one’, your personal energy will play one of the biggest roles in determining who you attract. For the purposes of this article I will define your personal energy as your ‘mindset‘ – that is, […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="text-align: center;"></h1> <p style="text-align: left;">Whether you’re looking for an awesome tour guide, a new bosom buddy, the ultimate tenant, a chill taxi driver or the ‘one’, your <strong>personal</strong> <strong>energy</strong> will play one of the biggest roles in determining who you attract.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">For the purposes of this article I will define your personal energy as your ‘<em>mindset</em>‘ – that is, your thoughts, how you perceive things, how you feel and the things that you do. I can’t tell you how often I sit and chat with people, or I’m coaching a client, and they stare back at me completely bewildered about how they could have attracted Mr. or Mrs. X into their life.</p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"></h4> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: #880080;">Here’s the life lesson </span></strong></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">What you need to know is this… Every person in your life (past, present and future)… The ones that<em> broke your heart</em>, stole your dreams and dashed your hopes; and the ones that lifted you higher, showed you the way, <em>gave you a reason to live</em>, taught you to love and helped you heal… <strong>You attracted them…</strong></p> <p style="text-align: left;">You will either be filled with tears of sorrow, tears of joy, tears of freedom, tears of rage or maybe all of the above when you really ‘get’, process and digest this… You attracted them…</p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: #880080;">Feel your energy right now…</span></strong></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">Even as I write this… I can feel a well of emotions flooding my body, rushing to my finger tips, on to the keys… Wow…</p> <p style="text-align: left;"><strong>Let’s pause and take a breath right here…</strong> Don’t hurry on to the next paragraph. Just stay here. Connect to your breath while focusing on the image of the woman here… When you can feel that breath is slow, balanced and steady keep reading.</p> <figure id="attachment_5358" aria-describedby="caption-attachment-5358" style="width: 645px" class="wp-caption aligncenter"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-attract-positive-people/how-to-attract-positive-people-modern-day-wise-woman/" rel="attachment wp-att-5358"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="wp-image-5358" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman.jpg" alt="take a deep breath right here" width="645" height="445" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman.jpg 750w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-600x414.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-300x207.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a><figcaption id="caption-attachment-5358" class="wp-caption-text">Focus on this image. Take a deep breath in. And a deep breath out. Repeat 3x.</figcaption></figure> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: #880080;">Okay</span></strong></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">So now I we have laid the foundation for the rest of the lesson. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">Let’s take a moment now to further explore the four aspects of personal energy or mindset that I mentioned earlier: your thoughts, how you perceive things, how you feel and the things that you do</span>. Let’s get clear on what it really takes to be positive and as such attract positive into our lives. Click on the video below to receive the full lesson now.</p> <p> </p> <p><iframe loading="lazy" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/o4v5fuBzLa8" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p style="text-align: left;"><strong><em>What we think shapes our world. What we perceive colours it. How we feel determines if we are simply living or if we are alive. What we do changes everything.</em></strong></p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><strong><span style="color: #880080;">We are always attracting someone</span></strong></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">At any and every given moment, we are always attracting someone into our lives whether we like it or not; whether we are aware of it or not. When you truly begin to understand the fundamentals of how personal energy works, you can begin to be to reliably attract positive people into your life and keep the negative one’s on the fringes.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">There are those who choose to live their life as if they are a bystander – waiting for opportunities or people to drift in and out of their life. But that’s not the kind of life that I want to live. <strong>And if you are reading this vlog</strong>,.. Well… I know that you don’t want to live that way either.</p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"></h4> <p><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-attract-positive-people/how-to-attract-positive-people-modern-day-wise-woman-4/" rel="attachment wp-att-5366"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-5366" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-4.jpg" alt="How To Attract Positive People Modern Day Wise Woman 4" width="645" height="387" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-4.jpg 650w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-4-600x360.jpg 600w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/How-To-Attract-Positive-People-Modern-Day-Wise-Woman-4-300x180.jpg 300w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 645px) 100vw, 645px" /></a></p> <h4 style="text-align: left;"></h4> <h4 style="text-align: left;"><strong>So let’s rise up.</strong></h4> <p style="text-align: left;">Let’s stand for something way bigger.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">And be,</p> <p style="text-align: left;">Powerful.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">Knowing that loving and living fully,</p> <p style="text-align: left;">is,</p> <p style="text-align: left;">our <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #fb00b0; text-decoration: underline;">birthright</span></span>.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">And love… Our natural state.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">We have the God given power to attract whatever we desire.</p> <p style="text-align: left;">The future is ours. Yours and mine… Happy attracting Dear One!</p> <h2 style="text-align: left;">xoxo Renee</h2> <p>P.s. Hungry for more? Inquire about <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/coaching/cosmic-fire-program/">Cosmic Fire</a> </span>or <a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/coaching/basic-coaching/"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Basic Coaching</span></a> spots are limited, so don’t delay <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f609.png" alt="😉" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-reliably-attract-positive-people/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>HOW TO RAMP UP YOUR MORNING ROUTINE</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-ramp-up-your-morning-routine/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-ramp-up-your-morning-routine/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 13 Apr 2014 18:58:11 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[body]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attraction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[divine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5190</guid> <description><![CDATA[HOW TO RAMP UP YOUR MORNING ROUTINE   How would your life be different if you went to bed excited every night instead of stressed? Did you know that you can literally decrease your stress level, increase your daily productivity and boost your overall mood just by changing up your morning routine?   What so many […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #fb00b0;">HOW TO RAMP UP YOUR MORNING ROUTINE</span></h1> <p> </p> <p>How would your life be different if you went to bed excited every night instead of stressed? Did you know that you can literally <strong>decrease your stress level,</strong> increase your daily productivity and <strong>boost your overall mood</strong> just by changing up your morning routine?</p> <p> </p> <h4><strong><span style="color: #880080;">What so many of us don’t realize</span></strong></h4> <p> </p> <p>Most of us don’t even realize just how much we are affected by our morning routines – the things that we do daily, the way we do them and in the order in which we do them. I am of the belief that <strong>mornings are meant to be sacred</strong>. A time for us to reconnect with our bodies after a long night’s sleep, fine tune our minds for the day ahead and ground ourselves in <strong>powerful intentions</strong> grant us access to materializing our heart’s desire.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>If you hate, dread, zoom through or don’t even value your mornings</strong>, consider that it may be because you are using (what I like to call) an ‘<em>expired morning routine’.</em></p> <p> </p> <h4><strong><span style="color: #880080;">What if your way isn’t always the best way?</span></strong></h4> <p> </p> <p>An <span style="text-decoration: underline;">expired morning routine</span> is a morning routine that is loaded with a lot of repetitive actions that drain you of <strong>positive energy</strong> rather than supply you with positive energy. For example, <strong>if you are taking the same route to work every day</strong> because it is faster, you may need to explore if taking the faster route truly makes you more alive and happy. You may find that the fastest route is best on some occasions; but most days a route with less cars on the road, more trees and a slower speed limit is what actually makes you feel happiest. And if that is the case, it may be time to <strong>ramp up your routine</strong> or create a new ritual. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><span style="color: #fb00b0;"><strong>Ramping up your morning routine is about you taking a much deeper look at what really makes you happy vs. doing what seems logical, or getting stuck in the trap of always doing what you think will make you happy, but really doesn’t. </strong></span></span></p> <p> </p> <p>There are many other things that you want to ask yourself, consider and explore when it comes to really creating a compassionate morning routine, with a <strong>solid self-love foundation</strong>, that sets you up for day to joy and success.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>Click the video below</strong> to learn all about how to ramp up your morning routines or create new rituals so you can start attracting eve more joy and happiness into your life now.</p> <p><iframe loading="lazy" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/vYwDuX4htIk" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p> </p> <h4><strong><span style="color: #880080;">Sometimes, all you need to do is make a small change in your morning to cause a massive shift in your life.</span></strong></h4> <p> </p> <p>You are more powerful than you know. And even more powerful than I bet you give yourself credit for. But I promise you that the more you <span style="color: #fb00b0;"><strong><span style="text-decoration: underline;">continue to read, apply and purposefully practice self-love principles</span></strong></span> <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><span style="color: #fb00b0; text-decoration: underline;">the more you will embrace the wise and wildly successful parts of you that you always new existed but couldn’t access.</span></strong></span></p> <h4><strong>xoxo Renee</strong></h4> <p> </p> <p>P.s. Are you interested in making more than just a few small changes and are serious about taking your entire life to new heights? We do have spaces available in our <a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/">Cosmic Fire Self-Love Program</a>. Click <a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/">HERE</a> to get started today.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/" rel="attachment wp-att-4760"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4760" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2.jpg" alt="Cosmic Fire Program" width="659" height="295" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2.jpg 980w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2-300x134.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2-768x343.jpg 768w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2-600x268.jpg 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 659px) 100vw, 659px" /></a></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/how-to-ramp-up-your-morning-routine/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>MULTITASKING: HOW TO DO IT LOVINGLY & SAFELY</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/multitasking-how-to-do-it-lovingly-and-safely/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/multitasking-how-to-do-it-lovingly-and-safely/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Sun, 06 Apr 2014 23:55:48 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[attraction]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[divine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[let go]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Multitasking]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Toronto]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <category><![CDATA[weigh loss]]></category> <category><![CDATA[weight gain]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5171</guid> <description><![CDATA[Multitasking: How To Do It Lovingly & Safely   Somewhere, someone, once said ‘Yes! You really can have it all!’ Hmmm. Really? Um I don’t know about that… Okay let me explain. I know in my heart that most dreams are achievable. It’s just that I have never met or heard of a single human […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #fb00b0;"><strong>Multitasking: How To Do It Lovingly & Safely</strong></span></h1> <p> </p> <p>Somewhere, someone, once said <strong>‘Yes! You really can have it all!’</strong> Hmmm. Really? Um I don’t know about that… Okay let me explain. I know in my heart that most dreams are achievable. It’s just that I have never met or heard of a single human being that successfully accomplished all of their dreams and maintained perfect balance in every area of their life all at the same time.</p> <p> </p> <h4><span style="color: #880080;"><strong>What the world needs right now is … Self-love tools… Self-love tools that really work.</strong></span></h4> <p> </p> <p>Have you ever noticed that more you strive to ‘have it all’ the more you seem to take on/do? And not just that, but the more you seem to try to <span style="text-decoration: underline;">do</span> all at the same time? I work with amazing people… I feel truly blessed to have the clients that I have. <span style="text-decoration: underline;">It breaks my heart, when I meet amazing people who are <em>unconsciously</em> hurting themselves, simply because they’ve never been given effective tools for success that make self-love a priority</span>… <strong>It’s quite possible that right now you may be on the brink of multitasking yourself into losing the love of your life, an unexpected spell of depression or being rushed to the hospital…</strong> And yet we know that being able to multitask and work in a fast paced environment is not just a requirement, but essential in order to survive in today’s business environment.</p> <p> </p> <p><span style="color: #880080;"><em>I want you to know that I am not writing this article to frighten you. I’m writing it because I want to set you free. I’m writing this because I want you to wake up knowing you have a choice about what you say ‘yes’ to… I’m writing this because I want you to stop buying into beliefs that leave you, and the people that matter most to you, with the short end of the stick. I’m writing this because you deserve more.</em></span></p> <p> </p> <p><strong>So what do we do? How do you know when it’s a good idea to multitask?</strong> Or when it’s just down right bad idea or even dangerous? In today’s video I answer these exact questions for you; and I give you specific examples so you can start changing the way you do things today. <strong>Click below to watch the video now.</strong></p> <p><iframe loading="lazy" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/B2HgNIFrSrA" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <h4></h4> <h4><strong><span style="color: #880080;">From a self-love perspective, dangerous multitasking leads to:</span></strong></h4> <p> </p> <p>1. <strong>Burn out</strong> – You and those around you feeling chronically tired, moody, emotionally numb, <em>weight loss/weigh</em>t gain, high blood pressure.</p> <p>2. <strong>Break ups</strong> – You or your partner feeling <em>neglected</em>, misunderstood, under appreciated.</p> <p>3. <strong> Accidents/Injuries</strong> – Slips, falls, muscle tears and strains, <em>car accidents</em>, broken items.</p> <p> </p> <h4><span style="color: #880080;"><strong>Find a self-love program program that works for you.</strong></span></h4> <p> </p> <p>Multitasking in and of itself is not dangerous. When we have a solid self-loving context for living life, combined with <strong>strong self-love/wellness</strong> practices, we can multitask in ways that help us rather than hurt us. This is one of the reason why when I created <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/">Cosmic Fire</a></strong></span> I made sure to include specific exercises to help my<strong> clients learn new loving ways to multitask</strong> so they can <strong>get more done without sacrifice</strong>.</p> <p> </p> <p>We can have it all. But we need to remember that having it all, doesn’t mean that we have it all, all together, all the time. It’s okay… I<strong>t is time for you to give yourself a whole hearted hallelujah, amen, high five, ‘oh ya I’m bad’ or whatever your version of all that is, whenever you say ‘NO’ to multitasking, when you know it’s not good for you, even if someone else doesn’t like it or agree.</strong> Let this be a reminder that you can be just as effective, and in many cases more effective, when you give yourself permission to be <strong>be present</strong>, to focus on one thing at a time, for as long as needed, when ever it’s needed.</p> <h4>XOXO Renee!</h4> <p> </p> <p>P.s. Are ready to <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>kick your bad habit</strong></span> of dangerous multitasking? We do have spaces available in our <a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/">Cosmic Fire Self-Love Program</a>. Click <a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/">HERE</a> to get started today.</p> <p style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/picture-2/" rel="attachment wp-att-4760"><img loading="lazy" decoding="async" class="aligncenter wp-image-4760" src="http://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2.jpg" alt="Cosmic Fire Program" width="549" height="246" srcset="https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2.jpg 980w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2-300x134.jpg 300w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2-768x343.jpg 768w, https://reneemullingslewis.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/picture-2-600x268.jpg 600w" sizes="auto, (max-width: 549px) 100vw, 549px" /></a></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/multitasking-how-to-do-it-lovingly-and-safely/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>HOW TO STOP SABOTAGING YOURSELF</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/self-sabotage-how-to-stop-now/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/self-sabotage-how-to-stop-now/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 31 Mar 2014 01:03:27 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[soul]]></category> <category><![CDATA[coaching program]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[not alone]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love coaching]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love training]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Sabotage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[surrender]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Toronto]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <category><![CDATA[wise woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5159</guid> <description><![CDATA[One of the most common questions that I get asked is ,“Renee what can I do to stop self-sabotaging myself?” I used to be a chronic self-sabotager. You know, the kind of person who could never see a goal through to the end, had nine million projects on the go all at the same time […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<p style="text-align: left;">One of the most common questions that I get asked is ,<strong>“Renee what can I do to stop self-sabotaging myself?</strong>” I used to be a chronic self-sabotager. You know, the kind of person who could never see a goal through to the end, had nine million projects on the go all at the same time and tried to convince myself that “ah it’s no big deal’ if I quit and started something new.</p> <p><strong>As a self-love coach I make it my first order to business to research and get up close and personal with those little gremlins</strong> – those pesky things that we say to ourselves, the negative behaviours and hidden beliefs that literally stop us from whole heartedly going after what we truly want.</p> <h4></h4> <h4><span style="color: #880080;">Watch this video now to learn how you can begin tame those gremlins, stop sabotaging yourself and start making your dreams a solid reality now.</span></h4> <p> </p> <p><iframe loading="lazy" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/avWSjUQN32M" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p><strong>You really can make your dreams come true.</strong> Knowledge is power. Today you are a little bit closer than you were yesterday. So don’t give up.</p> <h4>xo Renee</h4> <p> </p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/self-sabotage-how-to-stop-now/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> <item> <title>HOW TO ATTRACT MIRACLES DAILY</title> <link>https://reneemullingslewis.com/stop-trashing-your-miracles/</link> <comments>https://reneemullingslewis.com/stop-trashing-your-miracles/#respond</comments> <dc:creator><![CDATA[Renee Mullings-Lewis]]></dc:creator> <pubDate>Mon, 24 Mar 2014 16:44:33 +0000</pubDate> <category><![CDATA[mind]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Self-Love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Coscmic Fire]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Courage]]></category> <category><![CDATA[divine]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy]]></category> <category><![CDATA[energy healing]]></category> <category><![CDATA[fear]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[love coach]]></category> <category><![CDATA[miracles]]></category> <category><![CDATA[Modern Day Wise Woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[reiki]]></category> <category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category> <category><![CDATA[renee mullings-lewis]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-empowerment]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-help]]></category> <category><![CDATA[self-love]]></category> <category><![CDATA[share]]></category> <category><![CDATA[spirituality]]></category> <category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category> <category><![CDATA[wise woman]]></category> <category><![CDATA[women]]></category> <guid isPermaLink="false">http://reneemullingslewis.com/?p=5134</guid> <description><![CDATA[You are a miracle. But you don’t always act like it. Why is that? Some mornings you wake up feeling like you’re on top of the world… Like anything is possible… And then some mornings you wake up feeling lost… Completely bewildered by the state of your own life… So what does it all mean?   […]]]></description> <content:encoded><![CDATA[<h1 style="text-align: center;"></h1> <p><strong>You are a miracle.</strong> But you don’t always act like it. Why is that? Some mornings you wake up feeling like you’re on top of the world… Like anything is possible… And then some mornings you wake up feeling lost… Completely bewildered by the state of your own life… So what does it all mean?</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>‘Why is this happening to me?’ ‘Where do I go from here?’ ‘Who am I?’</strong></p> <p> </p> <p>I have found that these are the very kinds of questions that we ask ourselves when we have just experienced a miracle or we are teetering on the cusp of one that is about to happen.</p> <p>Albert Einstein once said, <strong><span style="color: #fb00b0;">” There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.</span><span style="color: #fb00b0;">“</span> </strong>I adore this quote. But let me be very honest. Sometimes, I wish that I had never stumbled across this quote and allowed it to unearth that wild fire deep inside of me… Because the minute I accepted that everything, (yes literally everything), that happens in my life is a miracle… I could never ever again pretend that Universe didn’t have my back… Nor could I ever again, try to convince myself that it wasn’t conspiring for me to win.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>You see, most of us spend our lives trying to ‘get over’ the past. What drives this behaviour is the fact that <span style="text-decoration: underline;">most of us are still trashing our miracles.</span> Watch this video now to learn more.</strong></p> <p><iframe loading="lazy" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/x4ShGlp7WX8" width="640" height="360" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p> <p> </p> <p>We label past devastations rich with life lessons, like the day your child died, or the night that your house and all of your belongings burned down to the ground, or the day that you realized your business was never going to work, or the day that your husband told you he was leaving you after 20 years of marriage as <strong>‘bad luck, ‘bad karma’ or something that ‘should never have happened’</strong>.</p> <p> </p> <p>It is completely understandable and natural to feel this way when awful things happen… And you absolutely need time to feel hurt, angry, confused, frustrated and upset. <strong>My only wish, is for you to know that you don’t have to get stuck in this pain..</strong>. Because if you stay here, you can never heal, grow or move forward.</p> <p>And if you continue to think this way you will never ‘get over’ the past. You will always play the role of the slighted victim… Fighting for some form of self-created, imaginary justice, that kind that only exists in your version of the story…<span style="color: #fb00b0;"> <strong>Instead of being the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/moderndaywisewoman"><span style="color: #fb00b0;">Modern Day Wise Woman</span></a>, The King- that untamed, passionate, fierce, fully expressed, lover, light and trailblazer in the world.</strong></span> The one that <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>you know</strong></span> in your heart of hearts you know<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong> you are</strong> <strong>destined</strong></span> to <strong>BE</strong>.</p> <p> </p> <p><strong><span style="color: #880080;">Seeing everything in your life as a miracle is your access to freedom.</span></strong></p> <p> </p> <p>If you’ve been asking for some sort of sign, for help or for a message from the Universe about what you should do with regards to a certain situation, this is it. <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Stop looking.</strong></span> Seriously stop looking… <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f642.png" alt="🙂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /> Watch, listen and learn. XOXO Renee</p> <p> </p> <p><strong>P.s. If you or anyone you know is going through a particularly challenging time in their life right now please invite them to register today for the <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="http://reneemullingslewis.com/cosmic-fire-program/">Cosmic Fire</a></span> Program. I can help.</strong></p> <p>P.p.s. Want more? Follow us on Facebook by going to our <span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a href="https://www.facebook.com/moderndaywisewoman">Modern Day Wise Woman Fan Page</a></span> and hitting the <strong>‘like’</strong> button. We post there daily!! <img src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/15.0.3/72x72/1f642.png" alt="🙂" class="wp-smiley" style="height: 1em; max-height: 1em;" /></p> ]]></content:encoded> <wfw:commentRss>https://reneemullingslewis.com/stop-trashing-your-miracles/feed/</wfw:commentRss> <slash:comments>0</slash:comments> </item> </channel> </rss>